I just saw this and I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Ode To Knicker Elastic
I went to Disneyland yesterday and while in the bathroom, I noticed again that there was an annoying amount of panty snapping going on. It inspired me to write this little ditty. Don't judge me.
Snap Snap Snap
Then the knickers hit the floor
Snap Snap Snap
To let me know that someone is next door.
They snap so loud it's almost as if
to create a tune.
Snap Snap Snap
go the undies in the bathroom
Snap Snap Snap
Then the knickers hit the floor
Snap Snap Snap
To let me know that someone is next door.
They snap so loud it's almost as if
to create a tune.
Snap Snap Snap
go the undies in the bathroom
You spell "hell" with four letters...
M-I-K-E
My cousin.
Just joshing, he is wonderful...he also happens to be a body builder and my new trainer.
This summer I refuse to allow myself to gain the kind of weight that I did last summer, and what better way to lose weight than with a professional family member yelling at you. I chose him because I know I will not disappoint him (and for every few pounds I lose, he will deduct $5 from what I pay him...incentive understood)
The gym in Riverside, The Tournament House, is cozy, inviting, with a TV's and an enormous bookshelf and various VHS's. The clientele ranges from the young, tool type of "man" to sweet senior citizens...and hot chicks.
Regarding the tools, I need to ask a simple question.
What in the name of fashion, makes a man cut out the left and right side of his shirts? This exposes all of his body as if it were something much desired. If you wish to air out yourself then you might as well go shirtless instead of this ridiculous statement.
My brother couldn't stop laughing. He calls it "Prison Fashion"
In the weeks to come I hope to make enough progress to start noticing myself and not the frat boys around me. Here is to weeks of pain, and sweat, rice cakes and EXACTLY ten almonds a day.
My cousin.
Just joshing, he is wonderful...he also happens to be a body builder and my new trainer.
This summer I refuse to allow myself to gain the kind of weight that I did last summer, and what better way to lose weight than with a professional family member yelling at you. I chose him because I know I will not disappoint him (and for every few pounds I lose, he will deduct $5 from what I pay him...incentive understood)
The gym in Riverside, The Tournament House, is cozy, inviting, with a TV's and an enormous bookshelf and various VHS's. The clientele ranges from the young, tool type of "man" to sweet senior citizens...and hot chicks.
Regarding the tools, I need to ask a simple question.
What in the name of fashion, makes a man cut out the left and right side of his shirts? This exposes all of his body as if it were something much desired. If you wish to air out yourself then you might as well go shirtless instead of this ridiculous statement.
My brother couldn't stop laughing. He calls it "Prison Fashion"
In the weeks to come I hope to make enough progress to start noticing myself and not the frat boys around me. Here is to weeks of pain, and sweat, rice cakes and EXACTLY ten almonds a day.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Blogger Award
So the very funny user RafaRR gave me the Kreativ Blogger Award and I really appreciate it. Thank you very much for following my blog!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Scene
Have you ever watched that scene in a movie, where a character just sits on their sofa, staring ahead or staring down in their lap, and then the camera pans out to show the room in its entirety?
It always seems to be about a problem, and that long silence, and constant expression of nervousness is just the character trying to work out a solution.
Maybe the person is curled up with her knees to her chest. Her fabulous reclining sofa is in full gear but it gives her no comfort as she turns thoughts over in her head. Maybe she decides to curl her legs underneath her, she won't stretch them out because she already feels too exposed. Her space is the ony thing that makes sense. She absentmindedly tugs on her black burnout t-shirt, and in a small moment of distraction thinks "wow it's really see-through"
She fights the impulse to get up and walk to the kitchen. No, she must stay there, reclined, but not, and fix everything.
He's young, she's young. Not the same kind of young, but young enough and legal enough.
same ethnicity,her mom loves it
same religion,her mom loves that even more
he's adorable,her mom is jumping on tables singing.
He makes her uneasy.
She realizes she's streaching out a $30 tee that one could make by running a plain shirt over a cheese grater.
She's loud, he's timid.
She has fun, he's too serious.
He asks why? She asks why not?
She is her mother, He is her father.
It's too much for one sofa
He is always very proud of her, no guy has ever been proud of her before. He checks up on her, asks how her day went. She toys with the image of him bringing her flowers on a rainy day. It's sweet, she allows herself to smile.
He helps her let go of grudges, that's a big deal.
He tries to help her find her religious center.
Her smile fades
Religion
Celibate
He is celibate, She is not.
She lies down on the sofa, she feels weak, not physically but emotionally, mentally.
she's shallow, she can't imagine a relationship without sex, she doesn't know how people live.
She wouldn't allow him to break his vow.
but it would be torture to be with him and keep such a vow herself.
He makes her very uneasy
she turns on her side and gives her back to the room and the camers. She just wants to feel the space around her get smaller. She doesn't need a room she needs a box, then maybe all these trivial things will go away.
She'll wake up in a couple of hours, and go to the kitchen with no effort at all.
It always seems to be about a problem, and that long silence, and constant expression of nervousness is just the character trying to work out a solution.
Maybe the person is curled up with her knees to her chest. Her fabulous reclining sofa is in full gear but it gives her no comfort as she turns thoughts over in her head. Maybe she decides to curl her legs underneath her, she won't stretch them out because she already feels too exposed. Her space is the ony thing that makes sense. She absentmindedly tugs on her black burnout t-shirt, and in a small moment of distraction thinks "wow it's really see-through"
She fights the impulse to get up and walk to the kitchen. No, she must stay there, reclined, but not, and fix everything.
He's young, she's young. Not the same kind of young, but young enough and legal enough.
same ethnicity,her mom loves it
same religion,her mom loves that even more
he's adorable,her mom is jumping on tables singing.
He makes her uneasy.
She realizes she's streaching out a $30 tee that one could make by running a plain shirt over a cheese grater.
She's loud, he's timid.
She has fun, he's too serious.
He asks why? She asks why not?
She is her mother, He is her father.
It's too much for one sofa
He is always very proud of her, no guy has ever been proud of her before. He checks up on her, asks how her day went. She toys with the image of him bringing her flowers on a rainy day. It's sweet, she allows herself to smile.
He helps her let go of grudges, that's a big deal.
He tries to help her find her religious center.
Her smile fades
Religion
Celibate
He is celibate, She is not.
She lies down on the sofa, she feels weak, not physically but emotionally, mentally.
she's shallow, she can't imagine a relationship without sex, she doesn't know how people live.
She wouldn't allow him to break his vow.
but it would be torture to be with him and keep such a vow herself.
He makes her very uneasy
she turns on her side and gives her back to the room and the camers. She just wants to feel the space around her get smaller. She doesn't need a room she needs a box, then maybe all these trivial things will go away.
She'll wake up in a couple of hours, and go to the kitchen with no effort at all.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
What do you do when your private parts make their way on the internet?
You Twitter?
Everyone (in this day and age, it's always everyone)has take a photograph or two, that they keep for themselves or other players to be named later.
These are usually photos that must NEVER make their way on to the internet.
Unfortunatly some people have scanned a website and have come face to (insert body part here) with themselves on a networking site or photo carrier.
When you are a high profile celebrity, it's hard to stop those photos from spreading like wildfire.
Recently RnB singer, Cassie, addressed the issue of her stolen nude photos, but not before her fellow music artists could address it first.
Former Danity Kane memeber, D-Woods:"Cassie gonna sell some albums this round. Y'all see this nude internet photo?" (via Twitter)
Diddy:"Turn this one up real loud and dance on dem bitches!!!!" (he then linked the post to Elton John's "I'm Still Standing") (via Twitter)
Fabolous:"But Memorial Day weekend comin. I'mma be in Miami by the pool all day and the top gotta come off ... right Cassie?" (via Twitter)
Ray J:"I've seen some small titties 2nite!!! On the internet hahahaha, they looked good tho." (via Twitter)
Perez Hilton:"She sure likes her piercings — all over!" (to MTV)
must be wonderful to have friends like these...
Cassie later addressed the issue through her blog and (wow) Twitter, telling fans that it was her in the pictures:
"The recent personal pictures that have been leaked on the Internet of me were hacked and stolen out of my computer," she wrote on her blog. "These photos were obviously never intended for the world to see, and it's sad that people would really take time to steal and post them, it's just evil. At the end of the day, breasts are breasts, mine weren't the first you've seen and they won't be the last. ... People need to grow up, let's move on. Thank you."
Classy classy lady. I completely respect her comments. Hopefully we can all learn from this, and lock up our computers to ensure that we never have to see ourselves from a different angle ever again.
Everyone (in this day and age, it's always everyone)has take a photograph or two, that they keep for themselves or other players to be named later.
These are usually photos that must NEVER make their way on to the internet.
Unfortunatly some people have scanned a website and have come face to (insert body part here) with themselves on a networking site or photo carrier.
When you are a high profile celebrity, it's hard to stop those photos from spreading like wildfire.
Recently RnB singer, Cassie, addressed the issue of her stolen nude photos, but not before her fellow music artists could address it first.
Former Danity Kane memeber, D-Woods:"Cassie gonna sell some albums this round. Y'all see this nude internet photo?" (via Twitter)
Diddy:"Turn this one up real loud and dance on dem bitches!!!!" (he then linked the post to Elton John's "I'm Still Standing") (via Twitter)
Fabolous:"But Memorial Day weekend comin. I'mma be in Miami by the pool all day and the top gotta come off ... right Cassie?" (via Twitter)
Ray J:"I've seen some small titties 2nite!!! On the internet hahahaha, they looked good tho." (via Twitter)
Perez Hilton:"She sure likes her piercings — all over!" (to MTV)
must be wonderful to have friends like these...
Cassie later addressed the issue through her blog and (wow) Twitter, telling fans that it was her in the pictures:
"The recent personal pictures that have been leaked on the Internet of me were hacked and stolen out of my computer," she wrote on her blog. "These photos were obviously never intended for the world to see, and it's sad that people would really take time to steal and post them, it's just evil. At the end of the day, breasts are breasts, mine weren't the first you've seen and they won't be the last. ... People need to grow up, let's move on. Thank you."
Classy classy lady. I completely respect her comments. Hopefully we can all learn from this, and lock up our computers to ensure that we never have to see ourselves from a different angle ever again.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Manly Manliness
I'm doing a presentation on stereotypes and the media and I was reminded of this little gem of a video I found a while ago.
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