Don't Buy Into The Hype Moonies!

So my New Mooners, the time is close at hand and my midnight showing ticket is zipped safely in my wallet. There has been alot of promotion poopping up, and this includes new lines of merchandise, one being a line of Volturi cosmetics...My interest was immediately piqued.

If it's not my money being spent, I'll take the opportunity to drop the odd eyeshadow or two in the basket. I had such an opportunity this past saturday and decided to pick up the Volturi Enrapture Arsenic Sheer Lip Gloss. As you can see it comes in a charming little flip case with a gothic grate design on the front. The description boasts that this gloss is Vitamin E enriched...yeah we'll get to that later. Don't be intimidated by it's black colour, it doesn't go on like that. For $12 (I KNOW?! that's why I'm glad it wasn't my cash!) you get a sweet smelling sheer gloss that has a hint of gold in it.

POSITIVES
1.It goes on very smooth, I reccommend using a brush and not your fingertips, it doesn't go on your lips well when you use your fingers and you might end up using it all way too fast.

2.The scent is so lovely. I don't eat licorice but this product smells like licorice wrapped in sugar. I wish there was a candle out there that smelled like this!

NEGATIVES
1.For something that is 12 bucks, it doesn't last long! (that's what she said!) You seriously have to reapply this maybe 15 minutes after you put it on. I'm all about moisture and I have a cheap $5 tub of gloss that keeps my lips soft and moist for a good hour. If you like long term coverage, this is so not the business

2. If you have darker lips like mine then stay away because there is a light black tint to it and it makes my lips look...for lack of a better word, wierd.

3.Gold shimmer my butt. Even if you put this on top of a coloured gloss, you see no shimmer.

So the negatives outweigh the positives, and when you like the case more than the gloss, you know there's a problem. Seriously don't buy into this hype. Stick with the t-shirts, jewlery and stuffed jacob dolls. This gloss = MAJOR FAIL...can you tell by the unhappy face!?

However be excited for tomorrow, the claws will come out MIDNIGHT!

If I Have A Daughter....

Thou shalt NOT read Cosmo, InStyle, or any other self-esteem killing magazines

-I saw a young girl today reading a Cosmo in line. I asked her mother how old she was. Her mother said she was 10 years old. She obviously saw the look of disdain on my face because she immediately ripped the magazine out of her daughter's hands and told her she shouldn't be reading it. I'll admit it, I buy Cosmo...now that I'm 21!

These young things read these magazines, and their self-esteem plummets, we all know this. I never EVER, even glanced at those mags when I younger, not even in high school. I stuck to my Novels, and my Archie and Garfield comics...and no I have a sense of humor and high image self esteem ( or as my mother says an "ego that will drive me insane").

If I have a daughter, she will not be allowed to go near these magazines because I don't want her image of herself to be destroyed at such a young age. The world is cruel, but being able to grow up in it, knowing that no matter what, you are beautiful is an amazing feat. Now I'm not saying that my daughter can become obese and I would let her think it ok! No way! That's another issue.

The point is that the world is becoming more stupid everyday, and the media is telling us, thin is forever in, a little meat on your bones and you are considered MORBIDLY OBESE and being curvy equals a size 6.
If a tiny fraction of our future can come away with confidence and a positive idea about why people are beautiful no matter what they look like, then I think, emotionally, we might just save the world...just a little bit.

Why do I read them?
Make up tips.
Clothing ideas.
And because I'm old enough to know that I don't need to be a size 0 with long hair, to be happy.
She can read them when she learns that lesson too.

Black hair Phat hair

With the arrival of the latest black barbie, some parents are up in arms because not only does the new barbie have long hair, it has STRAIGHT hair too and oh so weave-ish...oh-ahem-gee
Many parental units are angry because they believe that the dolls will brainwash their babies into thinking that their natural curly hair is not beautiful...

Stop whining!
As a black woman, let me just say that all 5 of you that don't have use cellophane-relaxer treatment, and don't put in a weave, are probably those strong independent Erykah Badu-esque ladies? yes yes?
SO it is up t0 you to NOT buy the doll for your children and teach them the value of themselves...BY YOURSELVES!
I'm amazed by parents who have yet to grasp the fact that they are there for a reason!

why is relaxed, straight hair nice?
Personally, It's easier to deal with. I go through a cellophane-deep conditioning-relaxer treatment, that runs me about $120 every 3-4 months, and my hair is growing long and lovely, but when it runs out, I realize that my parents shouldn't have gotten together. My hair turns into a mix of straight, white woman hair, and afro magic black man hair, and it is RIDICULOUS to even TRY to deal with it! so I relax it!

Everyone says the straighter it is, the whiter you look, the more you conform to society...SHUT UP and stop being so paranoid.

If you know can't pull off a lovely, bushy head of hair or make that afro look amazing, then you'll want to do something about it, because no way in hell would I want to deal with a nappy head of hair.

In Case You Missed It...

Here's a story that I added to my favourites a while ago, but I think the topic will is one that will continue to be discussed for years to come.

As you've noticed, parents of young girls seem to have trouble finding suitable clothing for their daughters. Rather than buying a $10 Dora the Whatever shirt, they spend money on glitter tube tops, denim miniskirts and pleather boots, size 2. You might as well offer your child up on an alter to a pedo.

British designer and owner of Twisted Twee, Suzi Warren created this shirt.

Of course parents were up in arms against this design but Warren had a legitimate reason for creating it

"The Nipple Tassel t-shirt was designed as a response to my own distaste at seeing mini versions of sexy clothes on young children," she wrote. "Five-year-olds wearing slashed mini skirts and boob tubes, little thumb-sucking Britneys."

"...by embellishing this style of garment with printed nipple tassels, the result is not that the baby becomes sexualized by the tassels, but that the tassels are made benign and silly by the baby. In fact the more inert, innocent and unaware the infant is, the more ludicrous the contrast becomes."

Personally I think the tassles shirt covers up a child better than alot of the Hannah Montana slash tops out there. Would I buy this for my child? Only if I knew that years later they wouldn't be embarassed by it. Not something I would take a chance on so no.
BUT! I completely understand what she was getting at so more power to her.

I would, however purchase other things from the site.
Twisted Twee is a clothing store that caters to infants and pre-schoolers and sells retro nappies and shirts with rabid dobermans on them. Nothing is more interesting to me than retro images and my favourite dog. Check out the site:
http://twistedtwee.co.uk/

Now see this...

This is why white people get such a bad rep.
Because they have bad spokespeople

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/08/27/rep-lynn-jenkins-calls-for-great-white-hope-to-thwart-obama/

The Lovely Bones Trailer

1. I am so excited
2. Peter Jackson looks unrecognizable!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWyNYxGZonI

PETA you bastards

They're just children!!

PETA is targeting children, starting with McDonalds lovers. They handed out "Unhappy Meals" to children at a MickeyDs in Albany, NY.

Scare tactics, is that all you have? sure you can fight for the humane treatment of animals and their rights or whatever, I mean no one likes to see a baby calf get strangled, BUT, don't send the kids home crying.

Spokeswoman, Lindsay Rajt, was quoted saying,"But most kids really love animals, and if they knew that McDonald's suppliers were breaking the wings and legs of gentle animals like chickens, I think that you'd have to drag kids into McDonald's kicking and screaming."

They don't seem to mind when Tom and Jerry try blowing each other up...

The "Unhappy Meals" come in boxes that are "stained" with blood, a rubber chicken, pictures of dismembered animals a a shirt that says "Chicken McCruelty "
oh and then there's the knife-wielding Ronald McDonald

I think they are way WAY out of line

PETA never worked on me with the whole broken legs of a cow, snapped beak of a chicken. I might just be heartless, I love my meat

Journalist's return to United States

Definitely something to wake up to.

Journalists Laura Ling, and Euna Lee are back on home turf after a four-month imprisonment in North Korea where they faced a hard labor prison sentence of 12 years on charges that they had entered the territory illegally. President Bill Clinton managed to secure their freedom after talks with Kim Jong-Il. After being reunited with their families, Ling spoke to the press on behalf of both the women. My favourite part of her speech:

" . . . When we walked in through the doors, we saw, standing before us, president Bill Clinton," Ling said. "We were shocked. But we knew instantly in our hearts that the nightmare of our lives was finally coming to an end. And now we stand here, home and free."

There is already some shakiness regarding the ACTUAL goings-on in the meeting that took place. The North Korean government is saying that Clinton apologized to Jong-Il on behalf of the women, but Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, says that these statements are false.

Many are amazed at everything was accomplished in such a short time period, especially if you look at how relations between the US and North Korea have been going downhill.

There is already speculation that the move to free the journalists was orchestrated to make Kim Jong-Il look like a good leader, but personally I thought that the only benefit he got out of this, was that he showed his people that he is in good health and still capable of running a country, even though earlier reports this year suggested that he may be on his death-bed if not bed-ridden by a stroke.

Whatever the case, two women are free and back home reuniting with their families.

It is truely an emotional and fantastic moment.

But in re-capping it someone at channel 7 messed up and while listening to a reporter speak about the heartfelt emotion and inspiration of the families, we the viewers were looking at this this:

I laughed quite hard, but then refocused. Words simply cannot describe how all the family members must be feeling. It is truely a great moment.

Be Nice To the People That Handle Your Food

Why do I bat an eyelash at the odd waiter or two?

Why do I pitch my voice a little higher so as to give an air of bubbliness?

Why do I constantly thank my server whenever they switch out my drink or come by and ask how I'm doing?

Because its so easy to try and make someones day a little bit nicer, especially if their job involes dealing with pain in the anus people.

People like my father and brother are very dismissive towards waiters and hosts in restaurants. Don't get me wrong, they are thankful for service, but don't really show it. They're very used to waiters in Europe where time is not wasted lingering around and fishing for compliments. They pride themselves on good service but quick at the same time. American waiters like to hang around, strike up a conversation, lean on your seat, or play wih the sauces. I find this behavior endearing, and appreciate it, especially since they could be doing something better with their time.

They however have taken advantage of any working opportunity, and have chosen to serve people that range from the kind to the insane.

I choose to show absolute respect unless they prove they deserve otherwise. And for those of you hoping to gain something, sometimes being kind earns gratitude, sometimes a little extra with my meal, and sometimes it earns me a safe plate of food, In other words, don't piss off the people that bring you your burger because before it comes to you, it's back there.

Why Men Hate Twilight

Twilight screams of the late-night fantasies that Stephenie Meyer cooked up while she pretended to sleep next to her spouse. Well what do you expect? She's married! But we all fantasize. It's what you might call a well-known secret. However, the Twilight series is no longer fantasy that belongs to an adult. It has spread to the minds of 12 year old girls and has forced them to believe that they can only be happy if they find and Edward-esque and Jacob-like soulmate...
can you blame them!? Have you read the books!?

BUT that type of lovlieness does not exist and we are forced to settle for the smelly, rude, inconsiderate mortal men. (Do I sound bitter? That's because most of these men have been sent my way! where are the good guys?!)

The story of Edward and Bella is a good one, but with the introduction of the movies, the plot has had a shadow cast over it. Two shadows to be exact. The risky hottness of Edward, and the damn fine-ness of Jacob. (They did a good job picking Taylor Lautner and Rob Pattinson. Thumbs up)
And yes I am among those girls who seem to get grabbed in naughty places everytime I see the two pop up on screen but I have restraint.

The first movie:
The theater swam with the wonton screams and giggles of tweeny-boppers and middle-aged women alike. As the shrill cries went on and the shriveled excuses for boyfriends hung their heads low in embarassment and anger, the movie went on. I was later questioned about what I thought of the orgasmic experience of jumps, flips, bites, and glittering epidermis.
I simply said:
"Everyone one was screaming but I just sat in my seat and got turned on"

So all that kind of sounds like a battlefield right?
It is actually, but a battlefield between men and women, especially those with a boyfriend. Married couples actually enjoy the books together more than non-married couples. Probably because their future is more secure so they might as well make the best of it, plus a bit of role-playing couldn't hurt could it?
But non-married couples have been on the bad end of this series with people dumping people because they're not like Twilight peoples.
I love the books but I draw the line at wanting your FANTASY to be a reality at least when it comes to vampire boy toys. The only real thing to ask for, is that guys could be a little nicer if they're already not nice enough, that's it, and they could bite too, but line drawn.

Boyfriends with low self-esteem shouldn't go to see the movies but the should read the books. Boyfriends with confidence should see the movie if they wish, but confident though they may be, deep down there will be anger, because when it comes to nudity, both sexes think the same way. It appears as if there will be a bit of ab-showing in New Moon, and when that first V-curve makes it's way to the screen, every girl, single or taken, loud or not, is going to be thinking of what they would want to do to a body like that.

My best friend doesn't want to go to the midnight showing to avoid all the screaming girls that may drown out the actors speaking, I didnt want to go to the midnight showing of Twilight because I didnt want to deal with too many people at the time. Even when we went to see it a week later, the theater was packed with screaming, giggling vaginas, it felt like a midnight showing. No difference so I'll be going to the midnight showing.

And if by chance we're in the same theater, you'll know you're sitting next to me because I won't be screaming, I won't be "eeeking"
I'll be the grown up girl whispering "what yo name is?" to the screen.

Rantings of a Fan : Post Potter (Part 2)

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The Rantings of A Fan:Post Potter (Part 1)

I was very unsure about how to start this entry but I think I know now.
I feel, almost sobered. Like everything is right. It might be said that Felix seems to be leading the way.

BUT

Sometimes fantasy is best left to the professionals, and most of the time, professionals do not include masterminds in Holloywood. Scenes were cut, crucial scenes, and were replaced by moments that never happened in the story. For example the last battle scene, a vital part of the story, was cut and replaced by some utter nonsense that never occured in The Burrow. Of course directors got what they wanted if they were going for dramatic effect because the ooohs and ahhs in the theater could have been cut with a knife. I however watched the scene with disdain and was only softened by the poor look on Molly's face as she watched her house burn. All these boom, bangs, oooh-pretty-lights are unfortunatley vital to the audience otherwise they can't keep up with storylines, we've become a species of very few learners.

It's so easy for Hollywierd to make big, colorful, ghastly robots crash into each other and make bimbos run around in almost no clothing, while chasing cars, but oh to follow a plot line? impossible. Why can't it be done? because it doesn't involve big ass machinery and a pound of C4.

These are my biggest qualms, and disappointments
But on the whole, I was impressed more than disappointed
I shall continue tomorrow, but now I must sleep, my day begins in 4 hours

To Be Continued

The Rantings Of A Fan

At least four other people in the world must be re-reading the sixth Harry Potter book before it's midnight premier. I proudly count myself amongst them. Having no time to accomplish this task in the past few weeks, I intend to finish it again with only a couple days left before I hand over my ticket. I'll say right now that it is luck to have family and friends understand how I feel about books I love...it's also a little odd, but luck nonetheless. I sit in bed brushing myself up on scenes that may or may not be in the movie. I have done wonderful in ignoring, sneak peeks, B-rolls, clips and picture stills. I want to go in absolutely virgin and ignorant of any extra features. How will they portray Diagon Alley in the midst of turmoil and paranoia? Will they pay much attention to Harry's switch of the Half-Blood Prince's potions book with a brand new one? I feel the same stress as when I first read the book, the insanity that had enveloped the wizarding world. While re-reading chapter six, my heartstrings felt a tug. It reminded me that I must get through the last book once again after this. Fred and George and the utter grief that will be suffered. Again another stressful day, as I finished The Deathly Hallows in 12 hours, reading non-stop, only pausing for bathroom breaks. Because of that book, I had my heart broken at least nine times that day.

My brother James: "You're reading Harry Potter, and you're wearing glasses...you're a nerd"
and to quote Nearly Headless Nick: "Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe"

call me what you will, nerd, geek, no life, but I adore these books, and as much as I LOVE the Twilight series , J.K. Rowling will always have everyone's heart, because even though Twilight relates to the love-struck, fantasizing, submissive in us all, it lacks the substance that the Harry Potter series has. Lessons are learned, and not just about love. Courage, honor, how to let go of the past and pursue the present. Things Twilight could never teach us. Twilight allows us to be angry at characters, especially the men, toying with a woman's heart or making the girl choose between one love or another. Twilight just makes us think about all the relationship issues we've had and how we wish we had a sexy, sultry vampire who loved us for all eternity instead of dealing with mortal boys who experience penis whiplash whenever another woman walks by. As you can tell I've done my share of fantasizing when it comes to Twilight, guilty as charged, but Twilight never made me think "wow I would totally punch this person out for my friend!" Instead it always made me think "I wonder if Edward is good in bed?" Weigh those two on the scales of honor hmm?

The movies, though scenes have been cut out and plot has been changed slightly, the movies have done the books justice, and my excitement for Tuesday night has yet to be matched, even by a Jason Mraz concert on October 10th.

After I post this, I will resume my reading of Chapter 12 and will go up to chapter 20 before bed.
Goodnight all
Always a Slytherin at heart

Run for your life, or run for money. two things you shouldn't do in heels

Caption: "This doesn't make me look materialistic at all, I can cover up the bruises with a new Armani scarf!"

I think wome like this make the rest of us look stupid, or at least the people who organized like making women look stupid.
100 meter race in stilettos for the euro equivalent of $13,900 in a gift card. 100 women ran for Glamour Magazine in Berlin.
What won't women do to make us look sillier and sillier everyday? why not make them run in sneakers, Glamour Magazine? Oh no then they wouldn't look glamourous, right right. I have run in heels before because it was absolutely necessary, but trust me it is not the easiest thing in the world. I would not be willing to risk a broken ankle or ripped tendon, for that money. Why? Because I wouldn't be able to use the money for my medical bills as it is a specific gift card. I'm sure most of these women thought of possible injuries...and still did it. Stupid, and I'll tell you right now don't argue with me. Stupid

Beat Your Girlfriend Up and Get Stupid Jewelry Doing It

In regards to his legal troubles, criticism, and slightly dwindling fan base, Chris Brown can say but one word...


"OOPS"



According to an article on theboombox.com, the $300,000 chain was Chris Brown's idea of dealing with his current dilemmas.
If this is truely the case, the comic-like look and "oh well shit happens" attitude of the piece are offensive to many, including me. As a victim of physical abuse, to see someone take an issue so lightly, especially after pleading guilty to the crime is ridiculous. Spending $300,000 on a joke is not funny. The laughs he gets are probably fake and he has probably offended Rihanna and her family.
I don't see a long professional future if this is the way he handles things.

When It Rains, It Bleeds

A New Zealand Ad campaign to stop people from carelessly driving on wet roads.
Whos kid is this and how do they feel driving past their childs bleeding face...this is disturbing, but probably effective.

Sunday Sexpot: Harry Potter Star Stuns With Edgy Look

Emma Watson was, a little while ago, a wispy looking windswept young girl with a constant look of surprise and excitement....






In the August Issue of Elle UK she sports a quite edgy look at 19 years old, and personally I find the photos stunning! They grow up so fast.






She was quoted by Elle saying: "I don't want other people to decide who I am. I want to decide that for myself,"






Watson's look has thankfully drawn no criticism yet, and it shouldn't but one must remember that in this sad world, the young are prey and what is seen as coming-of-age, may be taken and twisted. A few weeks from now a tabloid could peg her as "possible sex fiend, or out of control edgy youth." You can only hope for the best.

Try A Little Tenderness
Sabina <3

Air New Zealand has nothing to hide

Everything they are "wearing" is body paint....
That's so funny!!!

*Insert random pissed off title regarding how stupid a friend looks drunk here*

One glass, second glass,
that's it, it's passed,
hand me my water and I'll do just fine.
Not straight edge, but I keep away from the edge.
Don't want to look like a droopy car wreck
I want to remember the night.

My mouth doesn't taste like acidic hooker spit,
I'm not out of my mind, spewing stupid shit.
My fingers don't taste like lime
My eyes stay focused all the time

Drooling is for babies,
puking in public is not for ladies.
Being "buzzed" is an excuse to feel high.
Why would I want to be a soggy mess
When I spent time trying to look my best?
I want to remember the night.

Starface Strikes Again

So I'm pretty sure we've all seen this right?



This young woman claimed that she fell asleep during the tattoo and tried to sue the artist for $16,000.
She has (FINALLY) recently confessed that she was lying. Oh surveilance footage, the lives and wallets you've saved.
On the tape she is seen discussing wether the tattoos should extend to her nose....
because a bunch of stars on your FACE look just normal!
What I love is what the tattoo artist said when she said she'd sue him.
As reeported by Lemondrop.com "The artist counters that Starface is only peeved because her boyfriend dumped her after seeing the monstrosity."

Getting your face tattooed is NEVER cute, anything but the FACE! Stars are cute but whenever someone kisses you they shouldn't feel nauseous thinking they're about to take a trip into outer space.

Here are some star tattoos that I think are lovely:




This picture has actually been drawn on using paint, but I think the person should have gotten those stars

So there is speculation that Calvin Klein replaced a raunchy jeans ad with a bikini billboard after complaints.


This:


To this:





So they downgraded from many naked people to just one. If they want to advertise clothes, then thay should make their models wear some.

Breeding a Generation of Pill Poppers

Sam's Club decided to promote it's pharmacy by handing out candy in actual pill bottles.

HOW DID THAT GO DOWN?!
How did a parent react to an employee handing their 5-6yr old a pill bottle with a big smile on their face saying "Enjoy!"
Is the economy so bad that you a bulk store can't grab double seran wrap and come up with makeshift baggies, add some string, and there you go, a far less threatening way to promote your companies services.

It's scary because the youger kids may think that EVERY pill bottle contains candy...Thanks to Sam's some parents might have to keep medication on a very high shelf.

Oh my violated Facebook and Myspace

And my violated Myspace friends.
Today at a family gathering I left my laptop alone for ten minutes. I cam back to find my friend Robert slamming it shut, trying to hold back a laugh.
I pushed him out of the way and immediately scanned my two tabs that I had left open, one for my facebook and one for my myspace.

Facebook:
He had changed my relationship status from "single" to "open relationship"
WHY is that status there!? that's disgusting!?
and he'd posted three statuses

1.we had been watching classic boxing matches and the Bowe-Holyfield match with the surprise parachute landing was on. Robert apparently thought it was a live match and posted the parachute news as a status.

2.He posted that he understood old school boxing better than new school

3.He posted "sex sex sex sex"
this was actually amusing because a couple of people thought that this was just me being me.

Myspace:
OMG! I did so much damage control here.
Not only did he post the same boxing bulletin, but posted MULTIPLE bulletins detailing sex positions and advertising my "services"
He then engaged in various chats with some of my friends! Now everyone knows that I have a strict "do not use the useless chat bar on myspace to talk to me" rule, so it wasn't hard convincing people that it wasn't me. Thankfully he was smart enough not to insult anyone. He smack-talked Twilight, which was another give-away that it DEFINITELY wasn't me.

After all my damgae control and apologies, i turned to him.
He stood there, nearly doubled over in laughter

(I keep replaying the following in my head, because it was, for lack of a better word, badass)

I very calmly asked him to stop, stand up and face me. He stopped and stood straight still trying to hold back from giggling. It was a short kick but it was effective. I very swiftly gave him a foot in the nuts, and he doubled over.
Then I said:
"Now you can laugh"

I'm very over it, we're still friends, but I doubt he'll let me near his crotch ever again.
It was a prank, and I'll give him kudos because he did alot in 10 minutes. And almost no one noticed.
No harm, no foul, just don't get into my sites ever again

Jeffree Star can go to Hell today.

I have always thought that Michael Jackson jokes were tasteless and horrible.
Look at what Jeffree Star had to say via Twitter:

"So glad that fucking child molestor is dead. Karma, bitch"

I doubt he reads the comments left on his page, but in the middle of the outraged, and ass-kissing, this is what i had to say:

"omg I just read the comment, and even though you apologized, that was an asshole move, and I hope you not only feel bad, but you regret it too. You probably want people to call you "cunt" and "bitch" when you die, those things are ok with you, but in the REAL WORLD, not your fake plastic shit, it's not alright to disrespect the dead, and you want to be the most loved artisit in the world, well he is more of a legend than you could ever dream or hope of becoming. Karma is a bitch and it'll come around for you. I was such a fan but now, you're disgusting to me. You tell everyone to calm down, but what you said was outrageous, How dare you!? And all you whiney attention-seeking little sceneys, stop leaving your ass kissing comments. You just live for the silly little hope that Jeffree Star leaves a comment on your pages saying something like "oh thanks, you're so welcome to suck my page's dick"

You are pathetic"

I can't believe the disrespect out there, I'm so disappointed but hey, that's life, people say shit.

New Burger King Ad

Really America? Really?

The Last Party

if you're someone that habors strange hopes of marrying me in the future, then I guess you want to pay attention...ew

So the idea of the bachelor and bachelorette party.
Not happening.
Not with me, and not with my future whoever.

No strippers, hoochies, banana hammocks, hairless wonders, or incriminating photos.

I don't understand why anyone would dedicate a night to one last tearful goodbye to a life of being with other people, when in fact you're not supposed to have been with other people in the years leading up to that night before the marriage anyway.

These parties make me think that people regret the marriage decision.
I would rethink spending my life with someone if they wanted to have a bachelor party.
And sure people can call a bachelor/bachelorette party a good time with a few drinks. Well then have a good time and few drinks with your fiance and your friends, let's do it together!
And if someone calls that lame, dump them.

Is this too harsh? If it's too harsh then you're obviously not marrying me big shot.

Try A Little Tenderness
Sabina <3

Regina Spektor fans will understand the title

Our President Is A Ninja

I just saw this and I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Ode To Knicker Elastic

I went to Disneyland yesterday and while in the bathroom, I noticed again that there was an annoying amount of panty snapping going on. It inspired me to write this little ditty. Don't judge me.


Snap Snap Snap
Then the knickers hit the floor
Snap Snap Snap
To let me know that someone is next door.
They snap so loud it's almost as if
to create a tune.
Snap Snap Snap
go the undies in the bathroom

You spell "hell" with four letters...

M-I-K-E

My cousin.
Just joshing, he is wonderful...he also happens to be a body builder and my new trainer.

This summer I refuse to allow myself to gain the kind of weight that I did last summer, and what better way to lose weight than with a professional family member yelling at you. I chose him because I know I will not disappoint him (and for every few pounds I lose, he will deduct $5 from what I pay him...incentive understood)

The gym in Riverside, The Tournament House, is cozy, inviting, with a TV's and an enormous bookshelf and various VHS's. The clientele ranges from the young, tool type of "man" to sweet senior citizens...and hot chicks.

Regarding the tools, I need to ask a simple question.
What in the name of fashion, makes a man cut out the left and right side of his shirts? This exposes all of his body as if it were something much desired. If you wish to air out yourself then you might as well go shirtless instead of this ridiculous statement.
My brother couldn't stop laughing. He calls it "Prison Fashion"

In the weeks to come I hope to make enough progress to start noticing myself and not the frat boys around me. Here is to weeks of pain, and sweat, rice cakes and EXACTLY ten almonds a day.

Blogger Award

So the very funny user RafaRR gave me the Kreativ Blogger Award and I really appreciate it. Thank you very much for following my blog!

Scene

Have you ever watched that scene in a movie, where a character just sits on their sofa, staring ahead or staring down in their lap, and then the camera pans out to show the room in its entirety?

It always seems to be about a problem, and that long silence, and constant expression of nervousness is just the character trying to work out a solution.

Maybe the person is curled up with her knees to her chest. Her fabulous reclining sofa is in full gear but it gives her no comfort as she turns thoughts over in her head. Maybe she decides to curl her legs underneath her, she won't stretch them out because she already feels too exposed. Her space is the ony thing that makes sense. She absentmindedly tugs on her black burnout t-shirt, and in a small moment of distraction thinks "wow it's really see-through"

She fights the impulse to get up and walk to the kitchen. No, she must stay there, reclined, but not, and fix everything.
He's young, she's young. Not the same kind of young, but young enough and legal enough.
same ethnicity,her mom loves it
same religion,her mom loves that even more
he's adorable,her mom is jumping on tables singing.

He makes her uneasy.

She realizes she's streaching out a $30 tee that one could make by running a plain shirt over a cheese grater.
She's loud, he's timid.
She has fun, he's too serious.
He asks why? She asks why not?
She is her mother, He is her father.
It's too much for one sofa

He is always very proud of her, no guy has ever been proud of her before. He checks up on her, asks how her day went. She toys with the image of him bringing her flowers on a rainy day. It's sweet, she allows herself to smile.
He helps her let go of grudges, that's a big deal.
He tries to help her find her religious center.

Her smile fades

Religion
Celibate
He is celibate, She is not.

She lies down on the sofa, she feels weak, not physically but emotionally, mentally.
she's shallow, she can't imagine a relationship without sex, she doesn't know how people live.
She wouldn't allow him to break his vow.
but it would be torture to be with him and keep such a vow herself.

He makes her very uneasy

she turns on her side and gives her back to the room and the camers. She just wants to feel the space around her get smaller. She doesn't need a room she needs a box, then maybe all these trivial things will go away.

She'll wake up in a couple of hours, and go to the kitchen with no effort at all.

What do you do when your private parts make their way on the internet?

You Twitter?

Everyone (in this day and age, it's always everyone)has take a photograph or two, that they keep for themselves or other players to be named later.
These are usually photos that must NEVER make their way on to the internet.

Unfortunatly some people have scanned a website and have come face to (insert body part here) with themselves on a networking site or photo carrier.

When you are a high profile celebrity, it's hard to stop those photos from spreading like wildfire.

Recently RnB singer, Cassie, addressed the issue of her stolen nude photos, but not before her fellow music artists could address it first.

Former Danity Kane memeber, D-Woods:"Cassie gonna sell some albums this round. Y'all see this nude internet photo?" (via Twitter)

Diddy:"Turn this one up real loud and dance on dem bitches!!!!" (he then linked the post to Elton John's "I'm Still Standing") (via Twitter)

Fabolous:"But Memorial Day weekend comin. I'mma be in Miami by the pool all day and the top gotta come off ... right Cassie?" (via Twitter)

Ray J:"I've seen some small titties 2nite!!! On the internet hahahaha, they looked good tho." (via Twitter)

Perez Hilton:"She sure likes her piercings — all over!" (to MTV)

must be wonderful to have friends like these...

Cassie later addressed the issue through her blog and (wow) Twitter, telling fans that it was her in the pictures:

"The recent personal pictures that have been leaked on the Internet of me were hacked and stolen out of my computer," she wrote on her blog. "These photos were obviously never intended for the world to see, and it's sad that people would really take time to steal and post them, it's just evil. At the end of the day, breasts are breasts, mine weren't the first you've seen and they won't be the last. ... People need to grow up, let's move on. Thank you."

Classy classy lady. I completely respect her comments. Hopefully we can all learn from this, and lock up our computers to ensure that we never have to see ourselves from a different angle ever again.

Manly Manliness

I'm doing a presentation on stereotypes and the media and I was reminded of this little gem of a video I found a while ago.

Terminators...

I've often wondered why the Terminators transported naked

THAT'S what it's for!!

We've all seen guys on campus, carrying around their guitars.
Here's the real reason they lug around an instrument alllll day!

Intense and almost depressing

credit to Aldo Padilla for sharing a link to this

wow

Oh dear God in heaven..

There have always been idiots in this world, but concerning the following, who in their right mind would go a second without thinking "wow this is a really bad idea!"

Apple officially employs baby shakers.

An application for the Iphone was put on sale but later on removed when complaints started filing in concerning the vile nature of this intended entertainment.
In the application, a picture of a baby would appear accompanied by a crying sound and a timer set above the picture. the user was timed on how fast they could make the baby stop crying.
How would you get the baby to stop crying?
You shake the phone.
You shake the baby.
Everyone knows what happens when you shake a baby right!? Most likely brain damage!

But no, Apple opted to go beyond brain damage.
When the baby is finally silenced, two red Xs appear over its eyes...

I have so little hope for the human race.

The bible and apocalypse never sounded so cool

I have a new appreciation for graphics

"So what do you want in a guy?"

wow see that's code for
"what do i need to do, to get close to you??"
I've heard it too many times, hasn't every girl??

i was never ready to answer that BUT
i'm pretty ready to answer now.
i do have a list
(i love making lists, give me anything, and i'll make a list for it)
*ahem*

1.don't beat around the bush!!!
2.I'm done with guys who are attention whores, and NEED to be different
3.a sort of natural humor, one that isn't loud
4.you have to deal with constructive criticism, don't get defensive, my comments are in no way, meant to hurt you.
5.be responsible, punctual
6.don't be afraid to share your opinions
7.know when to have fun, and when to grow up.
8. DO NOT assume things! ask questions
9.be dedicated to whatever it is that you love (unless it's porn, then we have an issue)
10.don't act like a superhero. sometimes you'll have to save me and vice versa, but it's ok to breakdown once in a while

now these are my ultimate personal ones:

1.No drugs
2.No smoking
3.I will NEVER date a guy that has the same name as my brother or my father (no James or Clive)
4.if you go into a relationship with me thinking about a threesome, then you are going home ALONE. i don't share my men
5. don't cry over stupid crap, but find yourself unable to cry over serious situations
6. If you get angry at me, explain yourself, and I'll listen
7. If you cheat, then don't expect to hear back from me

Does all this sound like a lot?
well suck it up cus it's not like they're negative things!
no really I don't expect a guy to have even most of these qualities, but it can't hurt to give some of them a try right?

I don't want you to "kiss me in the rain" or bring me flowers all the time, or pick me up when you see me (if you've seen me then you won't want to risk the hernia)
I need a man, who will bring his values into plain sight, and not cloud my view with all the Hallmark niceties.
Be yourself.
and some may ask "well Sabina's bi right? what does she want in a girl??"
I choose to admire girls from afar.
I've dated a couple and you know what?
......
girls are fucking crazy as shit
no more stalker status, random threesomes, porn obsessed vahjay for me
no more!

but enough of that
does anyone agree or dissagree with my lists?
should I strike or add anything?
I'm all ears.

In life and death, there is inevitable change

A funeral is a business before it becomes emotional.
Too many times have I ordered flowers for a loved one, too many times have I set up pictures, and purchased condolence books.
Too many times have I stunted my crying until the one moment that I have to go up and speak at someones service.
It hurts, but with all the pain, someone changes.
My mother's best friend Connie was remembered today, and we all shared the wonderful memories we had with her.
Her son Jason barely spoke.
I cannot imagine the pain, he is such a tortured man.
i won't tell all of his story, in the end he just far more accepting.
There is change in his eyes
change in everyone's eyes, when they realize that this beautiful woman is not really gone. We'll all see her again one day.
She's probably looking down on us right now, rolling her eyes, saying we need to put some color on and stop whining.
In life we see things and unfortunatly it takes a tragedy to change us.
life is too short to not want to live it.

It's a beautiful day for a beautiful woman.

"Go smoke a doobie and listen to My Chemical Romance"

Why shouldn't you do drugs?
Your pets know, they always know.



but really....don't do drugs

Cyber Bitch Slap

Ever gotten into a fight with someone over the internet, through meaningless comments all started by a single image...

We are born, we live, we go to college...we get hotter

When you leave highschool, you enter a completely different world in college.
There are new sights, sounds, new people, new experiences, and college also allows you to re-invent yourself.

I know I did, not just mentally, and emotionally, but physically too, and a little change in wardrobe doesn't hurt either.
I signed up for more aerobics classes on campus, I started to take better ccare of myself appearence -wise, actually taking the time to do my hair instead of leaving it up in handlebar pigtails. I shed my goth-punk-gangster-redneck boy clothing and opted to use my hobo attire as pjs. (there was a point in my highschool career when, for a whole week, I dressed like a hobo. torn gloves, old beanie, the works.)
Now I stick to a simple jeans and t-shirt ensemble, or decided to put on a cute blouse, or pretty earrings, cherry perfume, you know, girly things.

Today was the girliest I've looked in a while, and it just happened to be the day that an old highschool classmate would walk back into my cherry-scented bubble.

My uncle had brought a friend over to help him move an old dresser. His friend happened to be a tall, VERY VERY (I'm talking swoon-worthy) handsome young latin man, with a familiar scar on his right eyebrow. His clothes were a little dirty, the kinda of dirty that makes it seem like he rubbed up against something while working.
Nothing is a bigger turn-on than someone who looks like he's a hard worker, I'm sold and I'm a total sucker for latin men...don't laugh you perverts.

Anyway I put on my biggest smile and cutest laugh and say hello in the most candy coated way possible.

"Hey John I know your niece!!"

My face dropped and I stared at him.

Everything flashed back to my freshmen year in AVID and there he was. A short twig like creature with a big head,small body and a slight hunch. He was quiet, but whenever he did talk, it was a little highpitched. Flash forward to my sophmore year, same thing. Raphael

I snapped back and told him that I recognized him, trying not to smush my words and amazed laughter together.
I didn't want to say it but I had to.
"You were short skinny and squeaky!"
He laughed and so did I. The laughter took all the stress out of my day.

Raphael continued to help my uncle, but also kept staring at me. I didn't mind, I've missed male attention.
He finally spoke up again.
"You're pretty now"

NOW this is where most women get mad but not me. I know that I have my fugly-looking days, we all do, so i'm not irritated by the "now" or "you look good TODAY" statements. Accept a compliment, don't dissect it and make the person who said it want to throw you off a cliff.

I told him that he looked handsome now, and we talked about how wierd we looked in highschool, hobo stage and all.
We discussed our career choices(he wants to be a sheriff) and talked about the future, which was strange because throughout my time in highschool, I'd never said more than MAYBE two words to him. In fact there were some days when I forgot he was in the classroom.

So why notice him now?
looks?
his new confidence?
his sexy dirt?

I think it's just the feeling of nostalgia that attracted me. that amazement in seeing what was brought about by the future, when the past was only a few years ago. The changes are amazing. I'm attracted to the change. This once quiet, ply-wood like person, is sitting in front of me, excited about his polygraph test tomorrow. where did the years go?

Doesn't matter because everyone is here now.

Porn addiction and prosthetic legs...

Ah porn.It's a nasty little addiction isn't it?
It's hurts our relationships, it makes us sexual deviants, it's a depressing obsession for desperate men and women everywhere.
It's a kind of prosthetic leg for society, well for some of it.
You take the fake leg away and we can't seem to support ourselves

We are all humans, we all become aroused when we see a sexy dance or a hot body, but what makes us watch it over and over and over again? Probably the lack of a social life.
IT's hurts our relationships because for one, why are you in a relationship? If the porn seems to be satisfying you more than the person you're with? Also, porn addicts like their partners to "act out" the little things they learn from the internet. That gets boring and insulting after a while.
Couples who have a joint addiction to porn, don't have a real relationship, that's my opinion. they're affection for one another is just a common interest in watching people have sex with each other.

there is a difference between constantly having sex and watching porn.
If you love sex, then fine I won't judge you, but interact with human beings and not a computer screen and Costco brand lotion or your own personal pocket rocket.It's less sad that way.

Steve-O Taken Out By Salsa

He was repetitively kicked in the crotch. He has survived encounters with lions and bears on the show Wildboyz, but Steve-O has been done in by salsa dancing.

During a rehearsal for Dancing With the Stars, Steve-O was injured during after a forward flip stunt went awry.He had decided to add the move last minute. He suffered pinched nerves and torn muscles in the area of his lower back. He calls his swelling his "third butt cheek"

Is it only hilarious to me that dancing took out the irritating yet endearing Steve-O?

Apparently he really wants to stay on the show. Probably to see how else he can hurt himself.
I think he likes pain...
Is it safe to say that?
Of course it is

Make way for the "cup size" jokes

"I'm sorry but is that waitress naked?"
"No, she's only half naked."
"Ohhh. Wow."

This could ba a possible conversation between a Vassalboro, Maine resident and a visitor who hadn't read the sign outside of this particular coffee house. Donald Crabtree opened the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in a town of about 4,500 people.

He was quoted saying "People like nudity, and coffee is profitable. Sure, I'd start a coffee shop, but I'd be out of work in a week."

150 job applications came in, and Crabtree hired 10 women and 5 men, ranging from model status to plus size. He is already seeing regulars and his staff are already seeing their wallets get bigger. One waitress received a $100 tip for one cup of coffee!

Of course Crabtree was faced with opposition, but who is to blame him for wanting to make good money in an economy that sucks?

Even though I find the idea of breasts hanging over a croissant making its way to my table, a little hard to swallow, I would have to give a thumbs up to a topless coffee shop, as long as it doesn't turn into a whore house.

Models and actors show off a little to alot for ALOT of money, why can't a young waitress from Maine do the same?

Go Team Topless!!

Do It For The Kids

Octuplet mother, Nadya Suleman, has been offered 1 million dollars to star in hardcore pornography by Vivid Entertainment. Spokeswoman Jackie Martin said that the offer included a year of medical insurance for Suleman and all 14 of her children. Vivid Entertainment has been known to release videos starring celebrities such as Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, and Kim Kardashian.

Oh my Goodness.

Now we've all asked ourselves "what would we do for our children." I don't have kids myself, but I know what my mother is willing to do for my brother and I. She's willing to kick, scream, kill, and slightly maim, just so we can have everything we want and need. Would I want her starring in a porno to help us get by?

No-freaking-way

Suleman may already have her children witheld from her because of unfit living conditions, I'm sure getting a job as a pornstar would up her chances of finally getting to hold all her new babies.

Of course there are pornstars out there with children and I would love to be there when the parents finally explain their profession to their kids. Imagine having to do it to 14 of them! I don't think pornstars should have kids unless they're ready to quit the business.

I'm not fond of porn at all, but in times of need, people do what they need to do, but there are just some things that you should not do as a parent.
Those things include having more children than you can support.