Starface Strikes Again

So I'm pretty sure we've all seen this right?



This young woman claimed that she fell asleep during the tattoo and tried to sue the artist for $16,000.
She has (FINALLY) recently confessed that she was lying. Oh surveilance footage, the lives and wallets you've saved.
On the tape she is seen discussing wether the tattoos should extend to her nose....
because a bunch of stars on your FACE look just normal!
What I love is what the tattoo artist said when she said she'd sue him.
As reeported by Lemondrop.com "The artist counters that Starface is only peeved because her boyfriend dumped her after seeing the monstrosity."

Getting your face tattooed is NEVER cute, anything but the FACE! Stars are cute but whenever someone kisses you they shouldn't feel nauseous thinking they're about to take a trip into outer space.

Here are some star tattoos that I think are lovely:




This picture has actually been drawn on using paint, but I think the person should have gotten those stars

So there is speculation that Calvin Klein replaced a raunchy jeans ad with a bikini billboard after complaints.


This:


To this:





So they downgraded from many naked people to just one. If they want to advertise clothes, then thay should make their models wear some.

Breeding a Generation of Pill Poppers

Sam's Club decided to promote it's pharmacy by handing out candy in actual pill bottles.

HOW DID THAT GO DOWN?!
How did a parent react to an employee handing their 5-6yr old a pill bottle with a big smile on their face saying "Enjoy!"
Is the economy so bad that you a bulk store can't grab double seran wrap and come up with makeshift baggies, add some string, and there you go, a far less threatening way to promote your companies services.

It's scary because the youger kids may think that EVERY pill bottle contains candy...Thanks to Sam's some parents might have to keep medication on a very high shelf.

Oh my violated Facebook and Myspace

And my violated Myspace friends.
Today at a family gathering I left my laptop alone for ten minutes. I cam back to find my friend Robert slamming it shut, trying to hold back a laugh.
I pushed him out of the way and immediately scanned my two tabs that I had left open, one for my facebook and one for my myspace.

Facebook:
He had changed my relationship status from "single" to "open relationship"
WHY is that status there!? that's disgusting!?
and he'd posted three statuses

1.we had been watching classic boxing matches and the Bowe-Holyfield match with the surprise parachute landing was on. Robert apparently thought it was a live match and posted the parachute news as a status.

2.He posted that he understood old school boxing better than new school

3.He posted "sex sex sex sex"
this was actually amusing because a couple of people thought that this was just me being me.

Myspace:
OMG! I did so much damage control here.
Not only did he post the same boxing bulletin, but posted MULTIPLE bulletins detailing sex positions and advertising my "services"
He then engaged in various chats with some of my friends! Now everyone knows that I have a strict "do not use the useless chat bar on myspace to talk to me" rule, so it wasn't hard convincing people that it wasn't me. Thankfully he was smart enough not to insult anyone. He smack-talked Twilight, which was another give-away that it DEFINITELY wasn't me.

After all my damgae control and apologies, i turned to him.
He stood there, nearly doubled over in laughter

(I keep replaying the following in my head, because it was, for lack of a better word, badass)

I very calmly asked him to stop, stand up and face me. He stopped and stood straight still trying to hold back from giggling. It was a short kick but it was effective. I very swiftly gave him a foot in the nuts, and he doubled over.
Then I said:
"Now you can laugh"

I'm very over it, we're still friends, but I doubt he'll let me near his crotch ever again.
It was a prank, and I'll give him kudos because he did alot in 10 minutes. And almost no one noticed.
No harm, no foul, just don't get into my sites ever again

Jeffree Star can go to Hell today.

I have always thought that Michael Jackson jokes were tasteless and horrible.
Look at what Jeffree Star had to say via Twitter:

"So glad that fucking child molestor is dead. Karma, bitch"

I doubt he reads the comments left on his page, but in the middle of the outraged, and ass-kissing, this is what i had to say:

"omg I just read the comment, and even though you apologized, that was an asshole move, and I hope you not only feel bad, but you regret it too. You probably want people to call you "cunt" and "bitch" when you die, those things are ok with you, but in the REAL WORLD, not your fake plastic shit, it's not alright to disrespect the dead, and you want to be the most loved artisit in the world, well he is more of a legend than you could ever dream or hope of becoming. Karma is a bitch and it'll come around for you. I was such a fan but now, you're disgusting to me. You tell everyone to calm down, but what you said was outrageous, How dare you!? And all you whiney attention-seeking little sceneys, stop leaving your ass kissing comments. You just live for the silly little hope that Jeffree Star leaves a comment on your pages saying something like "oh thanks, you're so welcome to suck my page's dick"

You are pathetic"

I can't believe the disrespect out there, I'm so disappointed but hey, that's life, people say shit.

New Burger King Ad

Really America? Really?

The Last Party

if you're someone that habors strange hopes of marrying me in the future, then I guess you want to pay attention...ew

So the idea of the bachelor and bachelorette party.
Not happening.
Not with me, and not with my future whoever.

No strippers, hoochies, banana hammocks, hairless wonders, or incriminating photos.

I don't understand why anyone would dedicate a night to one last tearful goodbye to a life of being with other people, when in fact you're not supposed to have been with other people in the years leading up to that night before the marriage anyway.

These parties make me think that people regret the marriage decision.
I would rethink spending my life with someone if they wanted to have a bachelor party.
And sure people can call a bachelor/bachelorette party a good time with a few drinks. Well then have a good time and few drinks with your fiance and your friends, let's do it together!
And if someone calls that lame, dump them.

Is this too harsh? If it's too harsh then you're obviously not marrying me big shot.

Try A Little Tenderness
Sabina <3

Regina Spektor fans will understand the title

Our President Is A Ninja

I just saw this and I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.

Ode To Knicker Elastic

I went to Disneyland yesterday and while in the bathroom, I noticed again that there was an annoying amount of panty snapping going on. It inspired me to write this little ditty. Don't judge me.


Snap Snap Snap
Then the knickers hit the floor
Snap Snap Snap
To let me know that someone is next door.
They snap so loud it's almost as if
to create a tune.
Snap Snap Snap
go the undies in the bathroom

You spell "hell" with four letters...

M-I-K-E

My cousin.
Just joshing, he is wonderful...he also happens to be a body builder and my new trainer.

This summer I refuse to allow myself to gain the kind of weight that I did last summer, and what better way to lose weight than with a professional family member yelling at you. I chose him because I know I will not disappoint him (and for every few pounds I lose, he will deduct $5 from what I pay him...incentive understood)

The gym in Riverside, The Tournament House, is cozy, inviting, with a TV's and an enormous bookshelf and various VHS's. The clientele ranges from the young, tool type of "man" to sweet senior citizens...and hot chicks.

Regarding the tools, I need to ask a simple question.
What in the name of fashion, makes a man cut out the left and right side of his shirts? This exposes all of his body as if it were something much desired. If you wish to air out yourself then you might as well go shirtless instead of this ridiculous statement.
My brother couldn't stop laughing. He calls it "Prison Fashion"

In the weeks to come I hope to make enough progress to start noticing myself and not the frat boys around me. Here is to weeks of pain, and sweat, rice cakes and EXACTLY ten almonds a day.

Blogger Award

So the very funny user RafaRR gave me the Kreativ Blogger Award and I really appreciate it. Thank you very much for following my blog!

Scene

Have you ever watched that scene in a movie, where a character just sits on their sofa, staring ahead or staring down in their lap, and then the camera pans out to show the room in its entirety?

It always seems to be about a problem, and that long silence, and constant expression of nervousness is just the character trying to work out a solution.

Maybe the person is curled up with her knees to her chest. Her fabulous reclining sofa is in full gear but it gives her no comfort as she turns thoughts over in her head. Maybe she decides to curl her legs underneath her, she won't stretch them out because she already feels too exposed. Her space is the ony thing that makes sense. She absentmindedly tugs on her black burnout t-shirt, and in a small moment of distraction thinks "wow it's really see-through"

She fights the impulse to get up and walk to the kitchen. No, she must stay there, reclined, but not, and fix everything.
He's young, she's young. Not the same kind of young, but young enough and legal enough.
same ethnicity,her mom loves it
same religion,her mom loves that even more
he's adorable,her mom is jumping on tables singing.

He makes her uneasy.

She realizes she's streaching out a $30 tee that one could make by running a plain shirt over a cheese grater.
She's loud, he's timid.
She has fun, he's too serious.
He asks why? She asks why not?
She is her mother, He is her father.
It's too much for one sofa

He is always very proud of her, no guy has ever been proud of her before. He checks up on her, asks how her day went. She toys with the image of him bringing her flowers on a rainy day. It's sweet, she allows herself to smile.
He helps her let go of grudges, that's a big deal.
He tries to help her find her religious center.

Her smile fades

Religion
Celibate
He is celibate, She is not.

She lies down on the sofa, she feels weak, not physically but emotionally, mentally.
she's shallow, she can't imagine a relationship without sex, she doesn't know how people live.
She wouldn't allow him to break his vow.
but it would be torture to be with him and keep such a vow herself.

He makes her very uneasy

she turns on her side and gives her back to the room and the camers. She just wants to feel the space around her get smaller. She doesn't need a room she needs a box, then maybe all these trivial things will go away.

She'll wake up in a couple of hours, and go to the kitchen with no effort at all.